Thursday, April 27, 2006
I could not have said it better myself. Life is fun and exciting right now and I cant always "prepare" my reactions and the outcome, sometimes things just happen. I need to let them just happen and enjoy the ride.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Am I am alone in thinking, there are REAL criminals we should be arresting?? FUCK!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Sunshine, I love you and may you continue on your amazing journey with few bumps in the road from now on.
I love you.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Will I want to get back on the plane? Recently I have realized how far 3,000 miles is. Too far on some days, like today.
Monday, April 10, 2006
My newly painted kitchen. Dreamweaver green! 1st coat & I love it! I call it dreamweaver green, since I had Lowes match the color off of my dreamweaver book, when I could not find a green color in the swatches I really liked! The first coat is applied, I think I will need at least 3 coats for it to be the color I want. I love it! Having an apt you can paint is awesome....!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Very true, so many things have happened in my life in the last year, the most important one being, I have killed off, once and for all, the scared little boy who lived (for so long) in me. He was always there. I am going home and I am returning home without a part of me, he is gone. Sometime in the past couple of weeks, he left. He has exited the building sorta of speak. He is gone. I was pushing him out, slowly, but when I would sit at home alone and deep in thought, he would creep back in. He was there to remind me to not get too comfortable, something is bound to happen, be on edge. I am not anymore. I know where it all stems from and I have addressed so many of these issues in the past year. I have the most liberated feeling now, like anything is truely possible in your life, you need to have guidence and support and ask for help. We are not meant to go thru this world alone...
Because of this, he has left. I am who I want to be, he is not needed there to guard the door. The fucking door has swung wide open and the sun is very very bright. He didnt like the sun, so he left.
Now, in 5 weeks I fly home to Vermont. I fly home an entirely different person. So many things back there I have to resolve for me, before I get back on the plane. I ran from there as fast I possibly could, even after all these years I could not get rid of my bad dream where I would wake up and be back there, trapped, unable to breath and never have the ability to escape. That bad dream has ended, when the scared boy left, he took that with him. Now I dream daily of an amazing life in my new home and the life I am building. It is never easy, but I wonder, if it were easy, would it be as much fun?
When I come back I will feel very good, I will feel closure and I can move on. I can close so many doors for once. Lock them and move forward. Walk into the sunlight.
You can go home again and you can be happy to leave.